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The Dengler Domain: Humidity

June 2, 2017
Sean Dengler - Columnist , Traer Star-Clipper

It is the wonderful time of year! The sun is out, the crops are growing, and the days are longer. Life is good, and this is why summer is the best time of the year. Being outside is not a choice during the summer, it is a must. The warm weather soars my heart higher and higher to the moon except one ugly culprit ruins the summer weather. This culprit's name is humidity.

Humidity has been around for as long as the Earth has orbited the sun, and it is the bane of my existence. If one possessed a time machine, one still would not avoid the detriments of humidity. I bet George Washington was a real grumpy pants when he fought the British in a lot of humidity, and the first person to have an air-conditioned car had to be disappointed when leaving their icicle feeling car to enter the terrible humidity.

This unfortunate weather event dampers all summer activities. Going outside and grilling in the mid 70s with a slight breeze and no humidity is perfect. Going outside and grilling in the mid 70s with a slight breeze and 100% humidity leads one to bribe the neighbor to grill. Seating out the 60% of water which makes up the human body is not worth it. A humid summer day is a hot mess for all involved.

For anyone who embraces humidity, I will show them to the door and lock them outside on a humid summer day. Humidity makes me sweat through my nice clothes, and it makes me consider wearing which shirts will not show off my impressive output of my sweat glands. Humidity is not fun. No one has thought to themselves, "I need more humidity." It is not rational to love humidity, and anyone who makes an argument for humidity must be a god.

Some might say, "Sean, why don't you move somewhere without humidity?" This is a good question, but I love Iowa. I will never flee this state because of a weather event. If it were an attacking mob of bees, then yes, I would leave but not humidity. It will be a losing fight to combat humidity. Mother Nature always wins, but I do not run from a challenge. Do I have a plan? Yes. It is a war of attrition. It involves the indoors and lots of air conditioning. I will wait out this annoying weather event out until late September. I will then come outside to enjoy the wonderful weather until my next nemesis arrives. I will be prepared as I will wear five winter coats and ten pairs of jeans because winter is going down.

Email Sean with your thoughts and ideas for future columns at: sean.h.dengler@gmail.com

 
 

 

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